Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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