Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
This beer is not sobering me up at all
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
