somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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