the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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