i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
