I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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