Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Randomize
