at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
