I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
