Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Randomize
