We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
