you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
