I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
