I CAN MOONWALK!
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
