so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I don't deserve a penis
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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