Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Randomize
