their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Found the puke drawer
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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