Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
