goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
