brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Don't make out with my wife yet
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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