her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
