I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
