ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
