look no pants
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
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