haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
