im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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