how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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