Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
