At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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