it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
