Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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