I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
