It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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