I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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