I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
