oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
