My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
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