I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
