I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize
