i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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