it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
