remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Randomize
