Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize