id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
