i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize