woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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