wanna go halves on a baby?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I am never drinking with the goths again.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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