so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize