At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Watching her eat just hurts me
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
