i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
