Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize