Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
