Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
