omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
