New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
