i jhust puked up my retainher.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
