So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
